Sirius & Remus The Death of LJ & Azkaban
by Gilana1
Summary: WARNING SLASH Part of the Sirius and Remus series. About Sirius and Remus and their relationship around the time of LJ's death, and Remus' feelings when Sirius is put in Azkaban.
1. Lily & James' Wedding

A/n: Hey! Please R/R! I've only posted a poem on this site (which I would appreciate if you all r/r) and I've always loved Remus and Sirius, but it's only until I came on this site that I ever considered them as a slash couple. So I decided to write one. Enjoy! Oh, and this is going to be a continuing series…. Marauders' Era… the death of Lily and James…. Modern Era… 

Warning: This story will most definitely contain slash! If you're a homophobe and/or just don't like that sort of stuff…. turn back now!

Disclaimers: I do not own characters in this fanfic… all belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Except for one… you'll know when I introduce her… name's Stacey…

Spoilers: MAJOR Prisoner or Azkaban

Chapter 1

 It had been a year or so since the Marauders had graduated. It was the day of James and Lily's wedding. Sirius was James' Best Man and Stacey was Lily's Maid of Honor.

Remus went to see Lily and Stacey, who were, of course, getting ready, first before going to see James and Sirius. He knocked on the door, and Stacey answered it. She opened the door and smiled. "Hi, Remus. Come in.," she said, happily. She looked absolutely beautiful. She had her hair up and had a long, classy, red dress on. 

"Hey, Stacey." He said. "You look great."

"Thank you." She said. "You don't look so bad yourself. I bet Sirius will _love_ you tonight…"

Remus blushed. "He already loves me. No matter _how_ good I look."

"I know, I know," she said, "but he'll love you even more now that you look so great!"

Remus blushed even more. "Stacey! Stop!" he said, playfully.

"Alright, alright." She said.

"Where's Lily?"

"Here." Answered Lily from the bed she was sitting on. "I'm here."

Remus stepped around Stacey to get a look at Lily. She looked absolutely amazing. She a fancy, cream colored dress on and had her hair up halfway. "Hey, are you alright?" He asked, sensing something was wrong. 

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Just… nervous… I guess…" She replied.

Remus leaned it toward Stacey. "Is she ok?" He asked, knowing she would know.

"Yes." Stacey said. "Just nervous, like she said."

Remus looked at Lily again, and then whispered again to Stacey, "Is she scared?" He asked.

"She's petrified." Stacey said, with a smirk on her face.

Remus smiled and then walked over to Lily. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?" He asked.

Lily looked up at him. "Oh, no! Never! I'm just… nervous…."

Remus knelt down and took her hands. "There's nothing to be nervous. You're marrying the man of your dreams and look beautiful and I bet he looks pretty good, too." He smiled. "He's the man of your dreams and this is going the best night of your lives." He added, "And not to mention one of the funnest nights of your lives."

Lily looked up at him and smiled. "Especially with Sirius and James at the same party… and it being James' wedding day and Sirius is James and I's best friend… tonight will be a night to remember."

"How can you forget any day with all four of us together?"

Lily thought about that for a moment. "Good point." She said, and then she laughed.

Remus stood up and said, "Well, I got to go see the boys." He rolled his eyes as the girls laughed. "This aught to be fun." He laughed. "See you at the wedding."

They said their 'byes as Remus left to see James and Sirius.

When he to their room, he knocked, and Sirius (he knew) answered, saying, "Come in!" He opened the door and went to James and Sirius standing there, both in tuxes. Remus walked in, closed the door, and walked over to Sirius and James.

When he got a good look at Sirius, he turned away. Words could not describe how good he looked. Sirius thought the same about Remus. "You look amazing." He said, amazed.

"Thank you." Remus said, looking at Sirius. Then looking him over again, said, "So do you."

Sirius looked Remus over and walked over to him, Remus still blushing. Sirius grabbed him and kissed him softly. Sirius leaned in to kiss again, and Remus gladly kissed him back.

In the middle of their kiss, James yelled, "Hey! Get a room!" 

"Ok." Sirius said, joking, moving toward the door.

"Sirius!" Remus cried, pulling him back, both of them laughing.

Remus looked at James, who looked pretty nervous.

"Are you ok, James?" Remus asked.

"Yeah." He said. "I'm fine."

Remus leaned in toward Sirius and asked, "Is he nervous?"

"Petrified." Sirius said, with a smirk on his face. Remus smiled.

"What's wrong?" Remus said. "You're getting married today! You're getting married to one of the most beautiful woman in the world! You have nothing to worry about."

James nodded. "I know." He said. "You're right. Have to been to see her and Stacey?"

"I just got back from there." Remus answered.

"How does she look?"

"Absolutely gorgeous." 

James sighed and took a deep breath.

"Probably not as good as you look." Sirius said to Remus.

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus said. To James: "Ready? It's almost time."

James took a deep breath. "Yes. I'm ready."

"Let's go."

They left the room and went to where the ceremony would be performed. When they got there, James and Sirius stood in their respective places and Remus sat down in the first row, right in front of Sirius, waiting for the girls.

A half an hour passed and still they hadn't shown up. James was starting to get worried. 

"Where are they?" He asked Sirius.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. Sirius moved toward Remus and then made a "come here" motion with his finger. Remus got up and stepped toward Sirius, and Sirius asked, "Where are Lily and Stacey? James is starting to get worried. Was everything alright when you were there?"

"No, I don't know where they are, and yes, everything seemed alright." He answered.

"Then where are they?" Sirius asked, impatiently.

"I don't know."

"Would you go check on them for me please?" He asked him.

Remus nodded. "Yeah."

"Thanks."

Remus left and went toward the room Lily and Stacey. 

When he got there, he knocked and Stacey answered. "Where are you two? The wedding was supposed to start a half an hour ago!"

"Lily won't go." Stacey said. "I don't know what's wrong without reading her mind."

"You haven't?"

"No." she said. "But I have been very tempted."

Remus walked over to Lily. Her make-up was all smeared from crying. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I look terrible." She said. "He won't want to marry me."

Remus sighed, impatient. "You look amazing and James will want to marry you. He has for the past year." Remus grabbed her make-up and a napkin. "Now, look." He said, fixing her make-up. "James loves you and is really worried about you right now. So…" He said, putting her make-up back where he got it from and throwing the napkin away, "Let's go get you married."

Lily took a deep breath and said, "Ok. You're right. Let's go." And they all left to go to the ceremony.

Remus hurried back to his seat. "They're coming." He said. 

"Good." Sirius said.

The wedding march began to play. Stacey walked down the aisle and took her respective place. Then Mr. Evans and Lily walked down the aisle. 

James sighed as he watched his future wife walk toward him on the arm of the father. When they got to where James, Sirius, and Stacey were, Mr. Evans handed James the arm of his daughter and then took his seat next to his wife. 

Then the ceremony continued, Remus taking pictures the whole time.

After the ceremony, they all made their way to the reception.

A/n: A lot longer than I expected it to be. Oh, well. I hope it's good. The Reception is in the next chapter. I will have it up as soon as possible. R/R, please!


	2. The Reception

A/n: Hey! Another chapter. Hope you enjoy. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Thlayli the Lobster: Thank you. I don't really like guys that are all girly-like, so I don't make my characters like that. I'm glad that you like the way I portray Remus.

George: Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

Chapter 2 

At dinner, everyone was yelling, "Speech! Speech!" waiting for the traditional Best Man & Maid of Honor speeches.

Sirius sighed as he stood up. "Well, I don't really want to do this, but it's tradition, so I really don't have a choice. If it wasn't tradition I wouldn't do it." Some of the guests laughed. He sighed again. "James and Lily are one of the happiest couples I've ever seen. I know they'll be together 'till the end of their days." He shrugged and smiled as he failed to think of anything else to say. They laughed. Sirius raised his glass, "To Lily and James!"

"Lily and James!" coursed the guests.

Sirius sat down, smiling. 

"Wonderful." Remus said, sarcastically. (He was sitting next to him, of course.)

"Shut up." Sirius said. "I couldn't think of anything to say without mentioning you and me, and I'm sure that wouldn't go over well."

Remus nodded. "You're right."

Sirius stared at Stacey. "If I have to make a speech, you do, too."

"Fine." She stood up. She made a speech along the same lines of Sirius's, did a toast, and sat down. "There." She said to Sirius. "Happy?"

"Very." He smiled.

Dinner was wonderful. After they saw everyone was done, James and Lily stood up. "Time for the traditional throwing of the bouquet!"

"And the garter!" Lily added.

"And the garter!" James agreed.

"There's a balcony over there, James!" Sirius yelled.

James and Lily ran up the stairs to the balcony, and James yelled, "All un-married women toward the balcony, please!" as Lily turned around.

"Go." Sirius said to Stacey.

"I don't want to." She whined. "I'm never going to get married, anyway."

"Go!" Sirius and Remus said as they pushed her toward the rest of the women.

Lily threw the bouquet and it flew right into Stacey's outstretched hands. 

Then James yelled, "All un-married men toward the balcony!" as Lily leaned back against the railing and lifted up her leg. 

"No." said Sirius and Remus said.

"Go!" Stacey said. "If I had to do it, you do, too."  She pushed them into the crowd.

James grabbed Lily leg, took off her shoe, lifted up her dress, slid the garter off and threw it into the crowd. It fell right into Remus's hands.

They walked to Stacey who was still holding the bouquet. "How ironic, eh?" She said. "The 2 people who caught the bouquet and the garter are never going to get married."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"Well, you know I'm in love, but the 2 of us will never get married, so…"

"Yeah." Remus agreed.

"And you're gay, so…"

They laughed in agreement.

"You're right." Remus agreed.

Then James and Lily walked over. "Ironic, eh?" said James, obviously referring to the throwing of the bouquet and the garter. "The two people who caught them are never getting married."

They nodded. "Yes. Very ironic."

Mr. and Mrs. Evans walked over to them. "Oh, Lily." Mrs. Evans said, hugging her daughter. "I'm so happy for you." Tears were in her eyes.

"Oh, mum." Lily, tears forming in her eyes as well.

"My little girl," her father said, "all grown up."

Lily and her father hugged as well. "Oh, dad."

Mr. Evans looked over to James and shook his hand. "You take good care of my little girl, you hear?"

"Yes, sir." said James. "I will, I promise."

Mrs. Evans hugged her son-in-law and said, "Welcome to the family, James."

James smiled, tears starting to form in his eyes as well by now. "Thank you." He said.

Then Mr. and Mrs. Looked at Stacey and Remus who had caught the bouquet and the garter and Mrs. Evans said, "So you two caught the bouquet and the garter?"

"Yes." They said. "We did."

"You two would make the cutest couple."

Looks of disgust appeared on Remus and Stacey's faces. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." and Remus said, "That's them." He said, stepping back and pointing at Sirius and Stacey, a smile on his face.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." They said, looks of disgust on their faces.

"There's nothing between us, I promise." Sirius said.

"There's nothing between us and there never will be." Stacey agreed as Sirius nodded in agreement.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans nodded, agreeing with them, as they didn't know them, smiled and then walked away.

As they walked away, Sirius looked at Remus in wonder.

Then they heard music starting and turned around to find band that they had hired starting to play. "Let's go!" James yelled. 

"Let's have some fun!" Sirius cried happily.

James held out his hand for Lily. "Let's dance."

"You actually _want_ to dance?" Lily said, surprised.

"Yes, well, it _is_ our wedding reception."

Lily smiled and gave James her hand. "Let's go." And with that they ran out onto the dance floor.

Sirius held out his hand for Stacey. "Might as well get the traditional Maid of Honor/Best Man dance over with." He did a mock bow. "Would you care to dance, my lady?" He said.

Stacey looked at him and shook her head at him, gave him her hand, pulled him up, and said "Alright, fine. Let's go." 

Sirius let go over her hand and looked over to Remus who had already sat down in a chair at the table they were standing near. Sirius walked up behind up him and said, "Now, _you_ don't have too much fun."

Remus looked with a bemused expression. "What?"

Sirius put his arms around his neck and in his ear whispered, "We're going to have our own party tonight." 

Remus gasped and Sirius chuckled, then kissed him on the cheek. 

"Sirius!" Remus cried. "We're in a public place!"

"Who cares!" Sirius said, loosening up his arms. "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. You love me, don't you?"

"Well… of course." Remus replied.

"And I love you. So what's the problem?"

Remus searched for words to explain.

"And don't use 'We're both men' as an excuse." Sirius added.

"But Sirius… that _is_ the problem."

Sirius groaned. 

"Look, Sirius." Remus said. "You know I love you, it's just that… just that… that… oh, never mind. Forget it."

Sirius smiled, knowing he had won. He squeezed Remus's shoulders before walking out onto the dance floor with Stacey as another song started.

When the reception was ending, James told Sirius that he would write him when he and Lily at the sight of the honeymoon. He said it would take them all night. They felt unsafe apparating there since it was such a long way, so Lily insisted they drive. Sirius said ok and told him that he couldn't wait to hear what happened during their honeymoon, and then he winked.

He and Remus watched James and Lily leave and then they took each other's hands and walked toward their car.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I did have fun writing it. I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. It will be very intense, if you know what I mean. I will put a warning on the next to warn anyone who might not want to read stuff like that. (It will be nothing more than rated R, I promise. I don't write anything more than that.) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! R/R!


	3. The Night After

A/n: Hey! Another chapter. Hope you enjoy. R/R! I hope you all haven't abandoned me! 

Chapter 3 

After the reception, Sirius and Remus went to Remus's house where they were both usually at. They both sat on the couch at an angle facing each other. Sirius put his hand on Remus's, leaned in, and kissed him. Remus smiled shyly and Sirius leaned in and kissed him again.

Sirius was about to kiss him again, and Remus knew that things were going to get serious. He could tell by the way that Sirius was kissing. Each kiss was getting more and more passionate. He was pretty sure with the next one that his jacket would come off. So, Remus stopped him as he leaned in. "Sirius. We should go change."

Sirius nodded and said, "Yeah. You're right."

They got up and headed toward Remus's bedroom.

"Do you have an extra pair of clothes for me?" Sirius asked when they got there.

"Yes, of course." Remus replied. "You always leave your stuff here."

"Well, this is my second home." Sirius said, smiling seductively as Remus's heart melted.

Remus threw Sirius some clothes, grabbed some clothes for himself, and they both changed.

Sirius threw his tux across the room. "I never want to wear one of those again."

Remus laughed and said, "I couldn't agree more."

They stood there for a while in an awkward silence. Then Sirius, knowing what was going to happen anyway, walked over to Remus and gave him a passionate kiss.

They both smiled and leaned their forwards against each other's forehead. Sirius put his hand on Remus's neck, and drew him for another kiss. Remus put his hands around Sirius's neck, and leaned back to deepen the kiss. Sirius put his other arm around Remus' neck. Slowly Sirius slid the hand around Remus's neck down his back, enjoying the passion that arose whenever they touched and kissed. He took his other hand, put it under his shirt from the bottom, and rubbed his hand up and down his chest. Then, removing it out from under his shirt, he slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

Usually, Remus either tensed up or fought Sirius whenever he went to take off his shirt. This time, he did neither. He seemed to take no notice, except for the passion that they could feel rising in them with each button Sirius removed. 

When Sirius finally removed Remus's shirt, he threw it across the room.

Sirius then took off his own shirt, threw across the room, and then, still kissing Remus, proceeded to move slowly to the bed.

Sirius moved the hand that had been on Remus' chest, down to the front of Remus' trousers. He slowly undid the front of his pants, and then pushed them down. Remus, then, kicked them to the floor, and then off his feet.

Sirius then took his hands (he was still kissing Remus all the while) and unbuttoned his jeans. He pushed Remus on the bed, and proceeded to take off the rest of his clothing. Remus moved up to lay his head on the pillows, and Sirius (as soon as he had finished undressing) got on top of him.

They both just lie there, looking at each other. Then Sirius leaned forward to kiss Remus, and they began kissing again, rubbing their hands along their bodies.

Sirius moved one of his hands down Remus' chest, feeling underneath his palm the many scars that adorned his lovers' flesh, which was the reason Sirius has been the only person to ever see him naked. He moved his down to Remus' boxers and then hesitated.

Last time he had tried to take off his boxers (which would be about 10 months ago, now) he almost gotten slapped. Remus had _not approved, and Sirius knew. It had ruined their night, and Sirius has since regretted that he had not asked his lover if he approved. He had read the signs wrong, and he knew it. This time, he would ask, and make sure that Remus approved before he did anything, so as to make sure that never happened again. Sirius felt really bad about it, and didn't want it to happen again. Remus would definitely not like that. Not at all._

Sirius moved his hand down towards Remus' boxers, and hesitated just above them. He stopped and just stared at Remus.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," Sirius said. "It's just... I want to do something, but I'm not sure you'll approve. You didn't last time."

Remus looked quizzically at Sirius. "What is it, Padfoot?"

"I want to take off your boxers." Sirius said. "I wanted to ask for permission before I did it."

"Why would think I wouldn't approve?" Remus asked.

"Because, Moony, last time I tried it, I almost got slapped." 

Remus blushed. Yes, he remembered that quite clearly. "Well, Padfoot, sex is a big thing. It's a big step. Especially for me."

Sirius was confused by this remark. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well…" Remus hesitated. This was something he should've brought up a long time ago. He lowered his head and whispered, "Werewolves mate for life."

Sirius gasped. "I… I never realized…"

"I know. I never told you."

"That's why… That explains so much."

"Yes, it does."

Sirius lowered his head so he could look into Remus' eyes. "Moony… that's what I want."

Remus looked up quickly and Sirius' eyes followed his. "Really?"

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't it be?" Sirius said, like Remus' should've known that all along. 

Remus just smiled. 

"So, I take it you approve?" Sirius said, smiling.

Remus smirked. "Of course, I approve, you twit." And with that, he kissed him.

Sirius removed his boxers, and things progressed from there. They made love into the wee hours of the night. 

In the morning, they woke up in each other's arms. 

Sirius stretched and noticed that Remus was right there with him, in his arms. He smiled at the sight, and the thought of last night. _That was the best night of my life, he thought. _It was better than my wildest dreams. __

Then Sirius felt Remus stir next to him. He looked over and saw his love stretching as he woke. Sirius smiled with love in his eyes. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." He greeted.

Remus just smiled. "Good morning, my love." He said. "Is it that late?" He said as he remarked on the light coming room the window. 

"I imagine so," he said. "But frankly, I don't care."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes." Sirius answered. "I just had the best night of my life last night, so, no, I don't care what the rest of the world is doing right now. I intend on staying right here with the love of my life. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the world can go to hell."

Remus smiled and blushed profusely. Sirius leaned in and began to kiss Remus again. As he was kissing him, Sirius realized that Remus didn't seem interested. He didn't seem to want to. He seemed… preoccupied. He could tell Remus was not in the mood, so he stopped kissing him and said, "Alright, alright. I can tell you're not interested."

"It's not that I'm not interested, it's just that… I'm still trying to digest what happened last night." Remus said.

Sirius just smiled. "That's fine." And he stopped kissing him and lay down next to him, facing him.

Remus sighed and smiled. 

"Did you enjoy last night?" Sirius asked.

"Did I ever!" exclaimed Remus. "It was the best night of my life."

Sirius smiled. "I'm glad."

Remus smiled and snuggled into Sirius. "I want every night to be like this."

"Me, too, my love." He said, holding Remus tighter to him.

Remus and Sirius suddenly heard a fluttering of wings. Sirius turned around to see an owl hovering on the other side of the closed window. Sirius got up and opened the window, grabbed the letter the owl had brought for him, and the owl flew away. 

"What is it?" Remus asked. 

"It's a letter." Sirius replied. "It's from James." He started reading. "He and Lily are at their honeymoon site finally." He started reading more, but then got impatient, and threw the letter down. "But, it can wait." He said, getting into bed with Remus and embracing him again. "Oh, I love you." He said. "So much. More then you know."

"Oh, I'm sure I know." He said, giving Sirius a kiss, and sighing. "I just want to stay like this forever. Just stay here in your arms all day and make love with you all night." 

"And as far as I'm concerned you can." Sirius said. "I wish you could just stay here in my arms forever. I wouldn't let anything touch you or hurt you. No one would even get near you unless they got through me first." He gave Remus a kiss.

"Sirius," said Remus. "You can't protect me from pain and hurt. I've experienced pain and hurt my whole life. You, James, Peter and Lily where the first good things to come into my life after I got bit." 

"I know I can't protect you, Remus, but I can try." 

Remus smiled at his lover. "I know. And you do a damn good job of it."

Sirius smiled and laughed. 

Remus sighed again. "I suppose we should get up."

"Do we have to?" Sirius whined. 

"We really should."

Sirius sighed.

"Come on," said Remus. "Let's get up. I'll make breakfast."

That got Sirius up. Remus just laughed and got up and got dressed. Sirius put on a pair of jeans and Remus put on a pair of slacks and a button-up shirt, which he left unbuttoned, and together, with Sirius's arms around Remus, they went downstairs into the kitchen.

When they got down into the kitchen, Sirius sat down at the table, and Remus made them breakfast, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast. Sirius was licking his lips. "It looks delicious, babe." He said, as Remus put a plate down in front of him, and then put a plate down next to him, and sat down. 

 "It should be delicious." Remus said. "I'm a good cook."

"Yes, you are." Sirius said, almost inhaling the food. "You got anymore?" He said, as he handed Remus the empty plate. 

"More?" Remus exclaimed, as he took the plate from Sirius. "What do you think I am, made of money?"

"Well, if you would just ask me, I'd be more than happy to give you some money, or even buy you food if you want. I am rich, you know, and I've had even more money since my father died." Sirius said kindly.

"I know, I know." Remus said sadly. "I don't like to ask for help. I never have. You know that."

"Yes, I know that." Sirius said sincerely, taking Remus' other hand in both of his. "But that's why I'm here, to help you, to be with you. That's why I gave you that ring." Sirius said, talking about the gold ring on Remus' hand, and then at the one on his own finger that he and Remus had bought together. "I promised myself to you. I know you trust me. You can ask me for help, too."

Remus sighed. "Oh, Sirius-" 

But Sirius shushed him. "It's alright." 

They both just stared at the floor for a while, and then Sirius sighed.

"I should get these dishes washed." Remus said. 

"Yeah," Sirius agreed.

"And you," Remus said playfully, wanting to lighten the mood, "need to get a shirt on." 

Sirius smirked. "I do not. I don't have to put a shirt on if I don't want to."

"Oh, yes, you do." Remus said, his eyes drifting down to rest on Sirius' bear chest. _God, he's sexy, he thought, turning away, shivers running down his spine._

Sirius just smirked even more, knowing exactly what Remus was thinking. "I just think I'll stay like this."

"Have pity, Sirius." Remus said. "Just be a good boy and go put a shirt on."

"No." Sirius said. "I'm not a good boy and you know it." His hands slipping around Remus' waist as he came up behind him. 

Remus gasped as he felt Sirius' arms around him. Then Sirius got closer to Remus, and slid his arms up his chest and underneath his shirt. He began kissing Remus' neck. Remus just moaned. "Oh, Sirius," he said, as he leaned his head back onto Sirius' shoulder, as Sirius stopped kissing him. "Sirius, please. Let me finish doing the dishes. Go into the living room. You're such a distraction."

"But I'm a very good distraction." Sirius said, kissing him again 

"Yes, you are." Remus agreed. "But, please. Go into the living room, I'll join you in a second."

Sirius stopped and stared at Remus. "Alright, love. Don't be long." He gave him another kiss, and then went into the living room and sat on the couch.

Remus finished up the dishes, and then went into the living room after Sirius. He saw Sirius laid out on the couch, with his back propped up on the farther armrest. Remus walked over to him, and Sirius immediately sat up, and put one foot on the floor, and the other leg up on the headrest of the couch. Remus then lay down, his head resting on Sirius' chest, with Sirius' arms around him. Remus sighed in contentment. 

"What about the letter from James?" Remus asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh, right," said Sirius, suddenly remembering it. "It's still upstairs in the bedroom. Get up for a sec, and let me get it. I'll be right back, I promise." Remus did as he said, and true to his word, he wasn't gone very long. Sirius lay back down, and they got in the same position as before. Sirius held the letter out in his hands to the side, and titled his head the side so he could read it. He read it aloud.

_Dear Sirius (and Remus, probably, as well, _wink wink_), _

_How are you? Both of you, of course. Lily and I finally arrived at our honeymoon site today. It was so aggravating that she wouldn't let us Apparate. She insisted it was "too dangerous for people who have not been Apparting for a long time to Apparate long distances." She's probably right, too, which is even more annoying. _

_It's actually really beautiful here. It's a perfect honeymoon site. I'm glad Lily thought of it. (Yes, that was also Lily's idea. Not surprising, I know.) Anyway, I wanted to write you when I got here, when I had time, because I don't think I'll have any time to write you after this. (Wonder why?) _

_I hope you having fun. (If Remus is there, I know you are, _wink wink_.) Enjoy yourselves. (Like I even have to tell you.) See you when we get back and I'll tell you all about what "happens" on our trip. _

_Love, _

_James_

_P.S. from Lily: James, quit being such a brat. You have no tact, I swear. Sirius, I know you enjoyed that letter just a little bit too much. I feel bad for Remus. Oh, and speaking of Remus: I know you're there, and I sincerely to do apologize for James's…comments… I know how you hate to be embarrassed, even if it just in front of your lover. Anyway, it is beautiful here, I'm glad I thought of it. I hope you two have fun. (I didn't mean it like that…oh, forget it, you're not gonna believe me anyway. I swear…) See you all later. Love, Lily. _

_P.S.S. from James: Lily, this is my letter, not yours. And I bet you did mean it like that. You're as bad as me, and you know it._

_P.S.S.S. from Lily (again): Yes, I know this is your letter, but there are some things I felt I needed to say, and they're my friends, too, you know. _

_P.S.S.S.S. from James (again, and for the last time, I promise): Oh, get off it, Lily. I did it on purpose and you know it. Yes, I know I'm bad, and you love me for it. You wouldn't have me any other way._

_P.S.S.S.S.S. from Lily (again, and for the last time, I promise, as well): Of course, you did it on purpose, and yes, I know it, I'm not stupid. Yes, you are bad, and no, I wouldn't have you any other way. Now, I'm putting this quill away, and you'd better send the owl, James Potter. Bye Sirius (and Remus). We love you both, and have a great time, (yes, I'm giving up). Love forever, from us both, Lily and James Potter. (That just sounds so cool doesn't it?) _

Sirius and Remus laughed at "James'" letter. "Like it's a big surprise what they're gonna do." Sirius said.

"Yeah," Remus agreed. "They're on their honeymoon. Big surprise."

"It's seems like it wasn't a surprise what we were going to do either, was it?" Sirius said, smiling at Remus.

Remus blushed, like he had when James (and Lily) had "commented". "I suppose not." Remus agreed. "They're not stupid, you know."

"Yes, I know." Sirius agreed. "And I personally think that we're a little… obvious." Sirius said, giving Remus a heartbreaking smile. 

Blushing, Remus smiled back, and said, "Yes, I think we are obvious."

Sirius and Remus stared into each other's eyes, and the Sirius put his hand on Remus's neck and turned Remus's head, and then leaned in and kissed him. They just laid there for a while, kissing, and running their hands over each other's bodies, just basking in each other.

A/n: Geez, I am sorry beyond belief for how freaking long that took. I never thought it would take that long. But, after the sex scene, I just kind of… blanked out. And I really hate how I ended that chapter, but I had to end it somehow. R/R! I hope you liked it.


	4. Before

A/n: Well, this chapter was a long time coming. I hope I get this one out sooner than the other one. Oh, and btw, that long section of Italics is a Flashback. (Kind of obvious, but just thought I'd say something.) This may be really sad… This involves everything leading up to October 31, 1981, and Voldemort's so-called "downfall", so this won't be happy. 

The Couples Writer: No one reads this one or "Sirius and Remus – the Modern Era". Everyone reads the first one, "Sirius and Remus – the Marauders Era". I have quite a few reviews on that one. Thank you so much for your compliments! I really appreciate it. Nah, I'm not into writing NC-17 stories (which is what this one would be if I had gone into anymore detail). Anyway, I'm glad you like my story. I hope you keep reading!   
Nolwe the Lady Dragon: Well, I'm glad you like! More to come! Won't be happy, though… Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4

Over the next year or so, Sirius and Remus didn't get to see each other as much as they wanted. Sirius was working a lot, and often very tired after work. Remus, on the other, couldn't seem to keep a job. He had already lost 2, and hadn't been hired for another one. Every time Sirius came over, he and Remus would make love for hours until they no longer could. They missed each other so much. Yet, each was becoming a little… suspicious of the other. Remus hardly ever went out of his house, and no one saw him very much, and he seemed to be making excuses for times when all others thought he was able to come. Sirius, or so Remus believed, came over less often that he was able to and was becoming estranged from everyone. 

Unfortunately, he was the only one who believed that. The others (Sirius, Peter, James and Lily) all suspected Remus. Peter sometimes made excuses and left suddenly with a strange excuse each time as to why he was leaving. But no one suspected him. He had always been real shy and secluded, and plus, he was a weak and not a powerful person, so naturally, no one could possibly believe that he could be the spy. I mean, come on, who in their right minds would let Peter in their ranks? This is what they believed.

However, regardless of their fears, Remus and Sirius still loved each other more than anything. Neither could bare the thought of the other being hurt. Even if one of them was the spy, they would always love each other. Sirius, although secretly he did suspect Remus, always was in denial. Even though he, and James, and Lily (and Peter) believed it was Remus, he always defended him, and never wanted to believe it. But they were right… It was possible… Anything was possible… Sirius even remembered when it was first brought up and how mad he got…

_They, Peter, James, Lily, and Sirius, were sitting around talking about what James and Lily were going to do about Voldemort and all. James and Lily told them what they were going to do, which was having someone be their secret-keeper. (No word was said of whom at this moment, reasons unknown.) After a while, it was agreed, and Sirius said what he thought he was going to do. "Great. I'm going to tell Remus."_

_ James stopped him as he was trying to get up, and said, "No, Sirius, I don't think that's a good idea."_

_Sirius looked at him strangely and said, "Why?"_

_"Well, we have reasons to believe that he's the spy."_

_"What?" Sirius said. "That's ridiculous. He couldn't – He wouldn't –"_

_"He can. Anyone can." James said. _

_Peter started talking rattling off a bunch of reasons, and the moment he started to insult (which was about 5 seconds into his speech), Sirius stood up very fast and grabbed Peter around the collar. "What are you saying?" He growled. "You say another word, and I swear on my life, I'll kill you."_

_James and Lily immediately jumped up. James ran over, and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Woah, hey, Sirius, stop, he's right!" _

_That had stopped him right there. _

_"What?" He said, sadness dripping from his voice, reflecting in his eyes. _What is going on here? _He had thought. _Why is everyone turning against Remus? _"How could you think that?"_

_"If you'll only listen for a moment, you'll understand why." James said calmly, his hand still on Sirius' shoulder. _

_Suddenly Peter went pale and excused himself, saying he had something important he had to do immediately. Lily also excused herself by saying that she wanted to check up on Harry. Meanwhile, Sirius just kept staring at James._

_"Listen, Sirius –" James started._

_"How could you?" Sirius broke in. "How-"_

_"Listen, Sirius," James interrupted, taking his hand off of Sirius' shoulder, "just listen to me. Remus has been acting strangely. He hardly ever visits anymore, and when he does, he always leaves." James continued with more excuses for Remus' behavior. "You can't deny that he hasn't been acting strange."_

_Sirius took his eyes of James and stared at the floor, and the brought his gaze up back to James again. "He wouldn't do that. He couldn't!"_

_"He can do anything Sirius." James remarked. "But why wouldn't he?"_

_"He just wouldn't!" Sirius cried. "It's not like him!"_

_"What do you mean it's not like him? How do you know? People have been betrayed and fooled before by people who they once trusted, why is Remus is any different?" James said, giving valid reasons._

_His eyes left James'. Sirius listen to James' words, and had to admit, he had a point. Sirius had already noticed it, but refused to believe it. "He just wouldn't, James, he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that." Sirius' firm resolve and never-breaking emotional barriers (which made it that he was the strong one, and hardly ever cried) were starting to break, and his eyes started brimming with tears._

_"Why wouldn't he? Why?" James said, his voice rising, honestly wanting the answer, although he was sure he already knew it. "Why wouldn't he? Tell me! Is it because you love him? Is that why?"_

_Sirius walked over to the nearby wall, and slid back down so he was sitting on the floor, and lost it completely. He did something that he only done once, and that was back in his 7th year. He cried. _

_James came over to him and stood over him. "Tell me, Sirius, why is he immune to Voldemort's evil, huh?" His voice now calmer because of his friend's emotional state. "Why?"_

_"Because he simply wouldn't do that. It's just not him. It's not in his nature." Sirius said, his voice covering up none of his emotions. "He wouldn't."_

_"Why, Sirius? Why wouldn't he?" James asked yet again. "Is it because you love him?" Sirius looked up at him this time. "Do you believe that he's immune to all this simply because you're in love with him?"_

_Sirius' resolve and strength left further if that was possible. "Yes." He cried at last. "Yes. I believe that because I love him and he loves me, that he would never do that. It would hurt me, and he would never do that."_

_"Sirius, I hate to tell you this, but that does not make anyone immune to anything." James said kindly. _

_"I know." Sirius said, still crying. "But I wish it did. I love him. It's not fair!"_

_James smiled sympathetically. "I know, I know it's not."_

_"I've thought of this before." He said. "I've noticed it all, and it kills me to suspect him, but… I can't think of anyone else…"_

_"I know, I feel the same way." James said, sighing. "If it makes you feel any better, you can tell him. He's still my friend and has a right to know. We still don't know who exactly it is yet, only that it's someone." Sirius smiled thankfully at him, but continued to cry._

_Sirius put his head on his knees and cried for a little while and James got up and left him alone. When Sirius got control of himself, he left. _

It was a couple months later that a secret-keeper was chosen, and then a week or so after that when the "switch" was made, unbeknownst to Remus, of course… James, Peter, Sirius, and Lily knew, but not him. They felt him "untrustworthy", and didn't tell him… 

It was a day before the full moon which was to happen on Halloween. Remus was in his room, minding his own business, when he heard a knock on his door. On his _bedroom_ door. _Very_ few people had that right. Hell, very few saw him or communicated with him, so of course it was those few that just waltzed into his house, and no one hardly ever visited him so close to the full moon.

When Remus opened the door, it was Sirius. "Sirius!" Remus cried. "What are you doing here?"

"To see you, of course." Sirius replied charmingly. 

Remus smirked playfully at him. "I figured that, but why?"

"What, I have to have a reason to come and visit my lover?" Sirius asked. Remus smiled at him, and Sirius sighed. "I came to talk to you, among other things."

"Talk? About what?" Remus asked, letting him in.

Sirius gave a sad smile, and said, "Remus, I hate to say this, but I don't think we're going to be seeing each other very much after this."

Remus gave a sad smile of his own. "I know." 

"I'm going to go into hiding soon, which means that I won't be able to see you or contact you very much at all." Sirius said, tilting Remus' head up so he could look into his eyes. 

"This isn't fair." Remus said.

Sirius smiled in understanding. "I know it's not, I agree, but it's not like I have a choice." 

"I know." The reason went unsaid between them.

Remus started crying, and Sirius took him into his arms, trying to fight tears of his own. "We love each other. It just isn't fair!"

Sirius held Remus out at arms length and looked into eyes. _How can these feelings be fake? _He thought, looking at the sadness, love, and sincerity reflected in his lover's hazel eyes. _How can he fake these feelings? It just not possible! _ "I know it's not fair, love, but these things happen." With that, he took Remus back in arms again, just basking in feel of them together and the feel of him in his arms. Life really wasn't fair… It just wasn't. Sirius stepped out of his and Remus' embrace a little and kissed him passionately. 

Remus was surprised. When Sirius broke the kiss, Remus looked at him in shock. "Sirius, what – why did you do that?"

The look in Sirius' eyes said it all.

Remus gasped again, backing away. "Sirius, no! I can't! Well, I can, but I won't! I refuse! I never get… intimate… so close to the full moon. I can't control myself, you know that!" 

"Yes, I know that," Sirius said, "but, I'm not going to see you very much if at all after this."

The look on Remus' face still said that he was very adamant about doing that so close to the full moon. It wasn't like after the full moon when he was too tired to do anything, before… He just simply couldn't control the urges… 

Sirius cupped Remus' face with his hands. "Please, love, I've never asked this of you before, and I wouldn't now if I knew I was going to see you again next week."

Remus still looked at him, saying without words that he wouldn't, it simply went against his nature to do so. But when Sirius bent down and kissed him, and looked deeply into his eyes, Remus couldn't say no… Sirius had a point… All he said was, "Oh, Sirius," and then with the next kiss, it didn't stop there. Sirius ran his hand down Remus' back, basking in their fiery passion, and then ran his hand underneath Remus' shirt feeling his soft skin beneath. Next, while keeping his hand underneath Remus' shirt, he brought his hand his chest, feeling Remus physically shudder as Sirius ran his hand over the many scars that adorned his flesh. Sirius took his hand out from underneath, and with his other hand unbuttoned Remus' shirt and threw it down on the floor.

"Take off my shirt." Sirius said, breaking their kissing momentarily. 

"Alright," Remus said, breaking the kissing momentarily as well. Of course, Remus didn't stop there, and neither did Sirius. Remus was smart enough to know what Sirius would further ask of him, and with the werewolf's urges, he was unable to think straightly when he got aroused or excited, so he just followed his desire. 

They undressed each other, all the while running their hands along each others bodies, feeling and touching before removing, all the while stepping towards the bed. When they got there, Sirius pushed Remus on the bed. 

Between all their kissing, and touching, and "such", Sirius noticed that Remus was much more… passionate, and physical, and rough than he usually was. Sirius broke their "activities" and looked at him, and said, "You're so much more aggressive than usual."

"I warned you." Remus said huskily, another something new. Sirius spoke like that when aroused usually. Remus, however, usually spoke breathlessly. Sirius now thought of what Remus had told him back in their 7th year. "Right before the full moon, I simply can't control myself." 

"Makes it more interesting for me." Sirius said, smiling.

"Shut up." Remus said, kissing him, and Sirius didn't think about how unusual that was for Remus to say something like that.

They went on, and had a most wonderful night. 

The next morning, as Sirius was getting ready to leave, Remus awoke. Sirius went over to him and kissed him lightly. "I have to go. Never forget that I love you."

"I won't." Remus replied tiredly. 

"You don't regret last night, do you?"

"Nope." Remus said. "And I sure hope that I never will." 

Sirius smiled, and said, "You won't." They kissed again, and Sirius said, "I won't be able to see for quite sometime, and doubt that I will be able to owl you either."

The sadness that had not been present in Remus eyes before now returned. "I know," he said sadly.

Sirius kissed Remus again, smiled sadly, and reluctantly left, regretting it every step of the way. _Life just isn't fair…_

_I love him…_

Remus thinking, _Why me, why us? I love him…It's not fair…_

_Nothing's ever fair that happens to me…_

A/n: * sniff* I nearly made myself cry writing that. That was so sad… Well, I hope you enjoyed it, and it only gets worse from here… Oh, and btw, with the sex scene, just let your imagination go wild. I don't care… 


	5. The Full Moon

A/n: Hey! If you don't know who really who Stacey is, she's a character who I introduce and explain in Marauder's Era. In shortest terms, she's a physic muggle-born who has a connection with Voldemort that opens fully on the full moon due to an ancient prophecy, which, besides connecting their minds, also connects their hearts. (In other words, they're in love with each other. Gross, I know, but, hey…) 

Nolwe the Lady Dragon: Yes, it was quite sad wasn't. It doesn't get any better, I can promise you that. But, I'm so glad you like it! Thanks! 

Chapter 5

It was the full moon on Halloween. Stacey was in her room in her manor in Southern Scotland. She stood in the middle of the room, calm as can be, prepared for what was to come. He came to her every full moon. Most of the time though, he even made her come to him. It didn't really bother her. After all, she was in love with Voldemort.

She sighed, looking at the wall, waiting for the inevitable. Her heart was pounding. No matter how much she detested it, she was in love with him, and every night of the full moon, her heart always pounded, always anxious to see him again after the month of being apart. No matter what she told herself, and no matter what anyone else said, she was madly in love with Voldemort, and that fact would always remain.

Damn that prophecy sometimes… 

She looked at the clock on her bedside table, and the time was almost there. She smiled… She was excited, and she knew she shouldn't be… Peter had betrayed James and Lily; he was a follower of Voldemort. She had been having a bad feeling ever time she had thought about him or saw him (which wasn't often) since she had found out. When that had happened, she had cried her eyes out and demanded Voldemort to send her home. But he wouldn't allow her to be alone. He cancelled the death eater meeting going on at that the time (a shock to all of his followers for sure) and then took her home himself. He lay in bed with her, and comforted her. Before it was time for him to go, he put the pact on her, making it so that if she told anyone about Peter then she would die, and that didn't help things, and things had only seemed to be getting worse. Peter was feeding information to Voldemort, and there was nothing she could do… 

Something was not right, and she knew it. Her intuition was too good to be led astray. But… Voldemort had put a pact on her, that if she ever told, she would die. It's not that he didn't love her, but he was very selfish, and wanted to get what wanted, and if he had to take certain… precautions… so she didn't mess anything up, then so be it. That didn't make her any calmer at all. He was planning something, and he was way too good at keeping things from her. He just didn't think about it when their link opened. 

Then suddenly Stacey gasped as she felt the link open, and then she felt his presence. She started to smile, and then she realized where he was… and what he was planning to do… She gasped again, and almost screamed. He was at James and Lily's house. He had been thinking about it for forever, and then that damned prophecy… Poor Harry… He wasn't old enough to really talk, and here he was being said that he would kill Voldemort or Voldemort would kill him.  No one should have their life practically planned out for them before they can even think for themselves. Stacey knew how it felt, and she didn't like it then, and she really doesn't like it any better now.

 "Voldemort, NO!" She screamed, knowing very well that he could hear her. "Please don't! I'll – I'll do anything! I -" She stopped. She knew one that she was sure would make him stop… "I'll – I'll give myself to you. I'll –" She gulped. "I'll let you take me." She lowered her head in shame. Even after all these years, they had never made love. She refused it. It's not that she didn't want to. Oh, dear, no, she was in love with him. Of course she wanted to. It was just that she would not give Voldemort an heir. 

Not surprisingly, Voldemort materialized in front of her. He cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her passionately, a kiss that left her breathless. His kisses had always left her breathless. Running a finger along her face, and looking her straight in her eyes with a superior look, he said, "I shall remember that," and, surprisingly, dematerialized. 

Tears started streaming down her face. "NO!" She screamed. "PLEASE, DON'T, PLEASE! NO!" It hadn't worked. She had agreed to let him take her, something he had wanted to do for a while, and he had said no. 

Because of her link with him, she could still "see" him. She could see what he was doing, and it was killing her. She screamed her protests as he went to the Potter's house. James stood there, defying Voldemort and protecting his family to the last, but alas, it didn't work. 

James stood there defying Voldemort, not allowing him to get anywhere near his family. But, with Voldemort's voice crying, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" James screamed aloud and fell down. He was dead.

Tears started streaming harder down her face. James was gone. This love-hate relationship she had with Voldemort was at its strongest point. She loved him so much, but she hated him for the things he did, and he knew it. She screamed her protests and James death, and she could tell that he could not stand her intrusion, but it's not as if he had a choice. Then he moved more into the house, and then found Lily, who was protecting her son, Harry, dutiful mother to the last. She could see her hurt over her husband, and her defiance at Voldemort. As if she would hand over her own son! 

"Stand aside, girl!" Voldemort hollered at Lily. 

Lily stood there in front of Harry, unrelenting. "No! Please!" She cried, trying to be reasonable. "Please, take me instead. Please, don't kill Harry, please."

But why wasn't Voldemort just going to kill Lily and Harry both? Why? Why did he tell her to move aside? This would puzzle Stacey until the end of Voldemort's final reign. 

"I said stand aside." Voldemort ordered. 

But Lily wouldn't have it. And, in the end, Voldemort killed Lily, and Stacey screamed again. Lily was gone, too. Voldemort had made Harry an orphan. Poor boy… She cried, not wanting to believe it. They were gone, James and Lily were dead, gone forever, and their 1 year old son was soon to join them.

But… when Voldemort tried the killing curse on Harry, the strangest thing happened… The curse rebounded off onto Harry and onto Voldemort! Stacey cried out harder than she ever had in her life. Now he was gone, too… First James, then Lily, and now, instead of their son, Harry, her love, Voldemort… She fell to the ground, in absolute pain over what had transpired this night… Her life was not fair. Why couldn't things go right for once? First, she's a psychic. Second, she's practically alienated at her school because of it. Third, her life's basically controlled by a damned prophecy. Fourth, she's in love with the worst wizard ever to come against the safety of the Wizarding world. Fifth, she loses two of the only friends she has, and then, sixth, she loses the man she loves! What next! 

Then she felt something… Her link was still activated! He wasn't dead! Her tears didn't lessen, but it was a relief to know that he wasn't dead. She hadn't lost him yet…

She cried herself to sleep that night. It was upsetting. James and Lily were gone, and poor Harry an orphan. She was not celebrating that night like the rest of the Wizarding World. She had no right to. 

The next night, her personal maid, Sara, came and woke her up. Her eyes were filled with concern at seeing her mistress lying on the floor. 

"Is He still with you?" She asked, and it took her a second to realize who she meant: Voldemort, of course.

"Yes, he's still with me." A ghost of a smile flitting across her features. "He's not gone completely." It just wouldn't be the same. He could never be with her… He might as well have died…

Sara helped her into bed, glad that she was okay. Later, she came back in woke her up, saying that _Evening Prophet_ had come in. _Was it that late?_ Stacey thought.

Stacey gasped as she read the headline article. As soon she had read it, she decided that there was someone she needed to see as soon as possible next morning…

A/n: R/R! Hope you enjoyed! Maybe this'll give a little more insight to Stacey's character. Not so much a Mary Sue now, is she? Anyway, it's late tonight and past my bedtime, so I will post this whenever I get the chance tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed! (I'm going to look over this tomorrow before I post it, though. I may want to make it more heart-wrenching. Will let you know if I do!) R/R!

A/n2: Well, I did change it a little, but not that much adjustment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. R/R!


	6. Finding Out

A/n: Hey! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Very sad, again, but, hey, this isn't a very happy subject…Enjoy! R/R! (The formatting on the replies to the reviews are severely messed up, I apologize.) (Also, the formatting's a bit messed up on the news story, but that can't be helped, and if I have the class of Pettigrew's Order of Merlin wrong, I apologize, I don't have my books with me, so I guessed, and I IMed my friend, but he never replied back, so...)

Nolwe the Lady Dragon: Thanks! Good! But, I think the way I portrayed her in Marauders Era made her seem like a Mary Sue to some people. I don't know, I never thought that.

Girl: Thank you. Thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoy my story so much! Yes, I did think you mentioned that. I will continue, I promise. Thank you very much! I will. I promise. You'll get more. Slowly, but surely

Jlarinda: Lol, maybe later I'll think about making my fics NC-17, but I for one, think they're good enough now. What do you think? I could be a bit more descriptive, I know. Lol, and why would I tell you they had their first night together in this story? If you haven't read this! You're not supposed to know that yet

Chapter 6

It was the night after the full moon. Remus was utterly exhausted, and was currently lying down in his bed, resting after a hard transformation. He got up, slowly, and walked into the living room, planning on crashing out again. When he got there, he found a letter sitting there waiting for him. It didn't say much, but it basically told him everything he needed to know and that he had missed while being a werewolf.

Lily and James were dead. They had been killed last night. It was pretty late in the day, so it wouldn't be surprised that Dumbledore would already know, and being doing something about it. Rumors were going around, according to Dumbledore, but that was true. Harry had brought him down, in the end. That surprised Remus. Poor Harry… orphaned and now famous before he could walk and talk. Dumbledore said that he knew what he was going to do and he would take care of it. Remus didn't really know what to think, but he trusted Dumbledore. He also said that if he ever needed anything, to simply owl him.

Remus set down the letter, and crumpled it, and he felt tears stream down his face. James and Lily… Gone… and Harry… an orphan… He didn't even think about who had done this to them, or how Voldemort had found them, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were gone, dead; he'd never see them again, and poor Harry would never remember them. Such a tragedy. Harry didn't deserve this. Now, he'd be famous for something he wouldn't even remember.

What was Dumbledore planning to do? Who would Harry stay with? Maybe if Remus had been thinking straight and so grief stricken by the death of his friends, he may have come up with something. But, being so grief stricken, Remus couldn't even by happy about Voldemort's demise. All he could think about was that James and Lily were gone, and they were never coming back. They had been two of the few people that had accepted him being a werewolf, and that was more than Remus could ever ask for, really. Now, they were gone. Remus just lay on the couch, dwelling in his thoughts and sobbing, and he drifted to sleep, still very tired from the full moon.

The next day Remus was woke up by a knock on the door. "Yeah, yeah," He said, "I'm coming, I'm coming." He was a little tired and worn out because of the news of James and Lily's death and the fact that it was soon after the full moon. When he answered the door, and upset and ragged looking Sirius was there. "Sirius?"

"Look, Remus, I want you to know something." Sirius said. "No matter what happens, I still love you. No matter what, you hear me? I will always love you." Remus just stared at him, not really understanding what he was talking about. Sirius embraced Remus and gave him one of the most passionate kisses he had ever gotten. Sirius said, "I love you," and then left.

In shock, Remus walks back over to the couch and lies down. He sits there and thinks for a while, and then drifts off to sleep again. But when he wakes up, he would get the shock of his life.

Remus woke up later that night after the sun had gone down. When he awoke, the _Evening Prophet _was sitting there, and there was a blazing headline across the front page. Curious, Remus grabbed the paper and froze in shock at the headline he read:

**Sirius Black Arrested**

Unable to turn away, he read the article word for word:

> Earlier today, a young man named Sirius Black was arrested for murdering 13 people with a single curse.
> 
> Cornered by the only wizard among them, another young man named Peter Pettigrew, who accused Black of being in league with You-Know-Who and giving up James and Lily Potter to them who were murdered by You-Know-Who only 2 nights ago, Black went mad with rage and murdered Pettigrew, and 12 muggles who happened to be in the vicinity.
> 
> The proper authorities were dispatched immediately and memories were erased, and try to fix what they could of the situation. But, there was nothing that could be done.
> 
> The Ministry of Magic was looking for Black already after the Potters' death, as Black was the league suspect for giving them up to the late You-Know-Who, but were too late. Pettigrew and the others were already dead when the Ministry officials arrived.
> 
> Peter Pettigrew was giving the Order of Merlin, a high honor, 3rd class, by the Ministry for his services today. Although that was of no relief to this grief-stricken mother. "Peter was a good boy," she told this Daily Prophet report, sobbing over the death of her son. "He was never a real smart boy or anything, but he surely didn't deserve this fate."
> 
> Sirius Black was sentenced to life in Azkaban, and will be taken there later on this evening, where he will spend the rest of his life. "He deserves what he got," said a Ministry Official. "This is a terribly tragedy to darken the glorious defeat of You-Know-Who that happened just recently. However, Black will be put away where he will stay, and he won't harm anyone else again."
> 
> After the defeat of You-Know-Who by Harry Potter, the son of Lily and James Potter, who were murdered just recently, this is a tragedy. However, with Black put in Azkaban, we can rest assured that this criminal has been brought to justice.

After reading the article, Remus did the only thing he knew to do at the moment: He burst into tears.

A/n: Hey! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's kind of short, but… this is what I wanted this chapter to be, so… I hope you enjoyed it. R/R!


	7. Recovering

A/n: I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know, it'll be sad and depressing from here on out, but… What else did you expect? Enjoy! R/R!

Tanya J Potter: I'm glad you like this. Thank you.

AmandaMarsters: Thank you, I'm glad you like. About the sex, well, it is rated R… and not it's not in as much detail as it could be. I'm making it more detailed, but I'm not going to give you a play-by-play of everything they do. #1: I honestly don't know. #2: I really don't care. #3: I wouldn't read it, so why would I write it for other people to read? I'll try to update as soon as possible. Feel free to read my other HP fanfics, and the 1st 2 in this series: "Sirius and Remus – Marauders Era" and "Sirius and Remus – Death of LJ/Azkaban".

**Chapter 7**

Remus just sat there crying. For how long, he didn't know. Time didn't matter, nothing did. What did he have now? James and Lily were gone, and so was Peter, Harry was orphaned, and Sirius betrayed them all… He had sold James and Lily to Voldemort, and betrayed their friendship and his love.

He had been used… in a way… Sirius had lied to him… He didn't love him, how could he have? Remus had given up so much for him: his virginity, his love, his life, but what did it matter to Sirius? Nothing, obviously. And he… _Oh, dear Merlin…_ Not long ago, a night before the full moon, Remus had something that went against everything, but for "his love" he had done it… He had made love with Sirius. No, wait; it couldn't be called that, could it? Sirius hadn't loved him… He had had sex with Sirius a night before the full moon, something that went against what he felt was right, since he couldn't control his feelings and urges, but for Sirius he had done it anyway.

Sirius' passion and desire… everything… all of it was fake… He hadn't really loved him… all this time…. Remus felt so used. How could he have possibly fallen for it? He had known, he had known, that Sirius used people that he went out with, but what did Remus do? He ignored that with a few sweet words from Sirius Black. Sirius had always been able to talk his way out of anything, and into anything. Remus couldn't help thinking that he could've realized that Sirius was playing him for a fool, but deep down in his heart, he knew that wasn't the case.

Sirius had always been a good talker. All it was needed to make Remus melt was a few sweet, seemingly heart felt words, and Remus would do whatever Sirius asked. Remus had built up a wall around himself to keep himself from getting hurt because of his being a werewolf. A few months with Sirius and the way began to shake. One sincere confession from Sirius, and the walls fell down.

_I wonder if he ever loved me anyway. No… if he did, he never would have done that. He would never have wanted to hurt me. _Remus thought. Laying down on the couch, tears just spilled down his face. At the time, he thought he would never stop crying, never heal. He would hurt forever.

Remus glanced at the newspaper add that lay on the table. He picked up again, and looked at it. He crumpled it up in his hands, and threw it across the room. He laid back down, and kept crying. Again, he cried himself to sleep.

Remus wasn't sure how much time went by. He'd cry himself to sleep, and then start crying again as soon as he thought of Sirius. (Which was immediately as he woke up.)

Remus had really loved Sirius, and in actuality, still did. He felt so hurt and betrayed. Remus had never, ever loved anyone more than he had loved Sirius, and now – or so he thought – he had been betrayed – albeit not directly – by the one person he had loved the most.

_Why did this have to happen? Why? _Remus thought. _I've never had a good life, because of my condition. My own parents were scared of me. Then finally… I get friends… who excepted me. They excepted for what I was. And then I find someone who I think loves me, truly _loves _me for who and what I am. But I was wrong. Then it all gets taken away from me… My love betrays me, and kills all but 1 of the people that has ever truly accepted me. _Remus kept on thinking like that.

One day, he got a knock on the door. _Go away. _Remus thought. _I'm not in the mood. _Whoever it was, though, kept knocking. "Fine, I'm coming." He said. If he had been thinking straight, he would have noticed how rough and hoarse his voice sounded from crying so much.

He went to the door and opened. When he did, he saw a very distraught looking blonde standing before him. "Stacey…"

She gave him a stiff smile. "Hey, Remus." She noticed the tears in his eyes, and he noticed the tears in hers. "I felt that we both could use someone to lean on."

Remus gave her as appreciate of a smile as he could manage. "It's just… I can't believe he would do something like that…"

"I guess weren't not crying for the same reasons." She said.

He would have laughed if he had had it in him. He led her inside, and they sat side by side on the couch. It didn't take long for Stacey to lean on Remus, crying her eyes out. Remus took her in his arms, and cried as well.

"I can't believe they're gone…" Stacey said. "James… Lily…"

"I know… I can't believe it either." Remus replied. "I never thought that Sirius would do something like that. I feel so betrayed… and hurt…"

Stacey sat up straight, and looked Remus in the eye. "Remus, please. I know you feel hurt and betrayed, and I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I can't." _Voldemort made sure of that, _She thought. "But I do want you to know one thing. No matter what Sirius did or didn't do, he loved you. I promise you that. I promise you that with all of my heart."

Remus wanted to believe her words. He did. But nothing anyone said or did could change the way he felt right now. He lowered his head, and shook back and forth, crying even more. Stacey looked at him, hoping that he would've believed her, but knowing why he didn't. She put her arms around him, and they both began crying again.

They eventually cried themselves to sleep, Stacey laying on Remus. When they woke up, Remus poured his heart out to the woman. Stacey wanted to say something to make him not feel that way, but there was nothing she could do. She hated to see a friend that she cared for hurting so much.

Stacey, in turn, told Remus everything she was feeling about James and Lily, keeping her feelings about Peter (whom she knew was a traitor) and Sirius (whom she knew had been imprisoned unjustly) and Voldemort (whom, no matter what he did, she would always love) to herself. Remus didn't seem to notice that she was leaving anything or anyone out, and was content to know that someone at least felt part of he felt.

The next day, after some more crying and hurting from both Stacey and Remus, Stacey knew that she had to leave, and go back to her manor in Scotland. Remus wished that she would stay, as he was happy to someone to lean on in his pain, but knew that she couldn't be away from her manor for too long.

"If you need anything, or just feel like saying hi, send me an owl." Stacey said as she stood in Remus' doorway, her eyes bloodshot from all the crying.

"Alright." Remus said, but he didn't think that he would, and of course, she knew it. He knew she was asking him to ask her for food and money, and he wasn't going to do. He didn't like asking for anything from anyone, and she also knew that as well.

Stacey gave a strained smile looking to Remus' bloodshot eyes. They shared a hug, and then Stacey left. Remus went back to lay on the couch, but found that he couldn't cry. His tears were probably dried up from crying too much. So, he just laid there feeling sorry for himself, and feeling sad about everything that had happened.

A/n: Depressing, I know. J I hope you enjoyed it, though. R/R!


	8. After

A/n: So there is only one more chapter after this one. So, R/R and enjoy!  
Sleeper6: Yes, he could. He thought that Sirius had been lying to him the whole time. When you get really hurt sometimes your mind can jump to the extremes. Thank you for your review.  
xMoonxNxStarx: Yes. Thank you for your review! I appreciate it!

**Chapter 8**

Remus' life seemed to be in a standstill after that. Nothing seemed to matter… Eventually, he grabbed himself up, and managed to cook something for him to eat. He had some food in the house. He ate in the living room, though… He and Sirius had always eaten at the kitchen table. Afterwards, Remus cleaned up, and went and laid back down on the couch. He still couldn't believe it… He was certain that this… hurt, that he felt would stay with him for the rest of his life. Nothing could heal it…

Well, eventually, he did heal, albeit slowly. It was still a sore spot, but eventually, he stopped himself from thinking about Sirius, and when he did… he didn't feel like breaking down and crying as soon as he did. It did, however, take a while for him to be able to sleep in the bed that he and Sirius had shared so much.

He didn't contact anyone. Not Stacey, not Dumbledore… The way Remus saw it, there was really no reason to.

Remus got into a routine. For a while, he would get up, make breakfast – if he had food at the time – and then look for a job. He managed to find one, at a local bookstore.

That fell through. After Remus making excuses for leaving for three months, they fired him.

So, Remus looked for another job. He got one at another bookstore in another town. They eventually found out that he was a werewolf, putting two and two together, and fired him, calling him a "freak" and telling him to never go anywhere near them, or their families.

It had hurt Remus, but he didn't expect anything else. The people who had accepted him where dead… minus Stacey, of course, but he had not been really close to her. Lily had been, but Lily was dead…

So, most of the time, Remus had no job, nothing… He didn't have money to be new robes, so his were all frayed and patched. He managed to scrape by with food, but saving up his what little money had had and got when he worked, so that he would always have a little money to buy a little something that he could get by on.

Remus read a lot. He didn't really have time to do much else. When he got bored, he would look at some of his old robes to see if they need patching or anything. If he couldn't do that, he would try to clean the house, but, since he never messed it up, it never needed cleaning.

All the while, there always felt like there was something… missing in him, in his heart. He knew it was Sirius, and Remus wondered if everyone always felt like this when they lost someone that they loved, or if it was just Remus, if only he felt… empty and incomplete. Remus eventually thought that part of it was maybe just him, and the fact that he was a werewolf. Werewolves mate for life, and Sirius… he had been his mate, physically, emotionally, everything…

Remus still found it hard to believe that Sirius could have done what he did. He sure fooled everyone… Sirius had always seemed so sincere, so heartfelt… Sweet words, a sweet letter here, a wonderful Christmas present there… Sirius had almost seemed… perfect for Remus. Their relationship, while it had been rocky, and had had it ups and downs, and overall, been wonderful. The passion, the fire… the love… Remus wanted to believe that it had all been honest, but a part of him could not believe that Sirius could have done that, and still loved him. That was just too much of a betrayal. Obviously, Remus had been played for a fool. Remus wasn't quite sure he'd ever get over it. Part of him wanted to forget… the other part, was generally confused about it all.

Remus just tried to shut that part off. _Don't think about it_, he told himself. _Not James, not Lily, not Peter, and especially not Sirius. Not anything. _But that was, of course, easier said than done. For a while, they were all he could think of…

But, slowly, the hurt slowly faded… It didn't disappear, but it faded… It was still there, if he dug deep enough. It would never leave, he knew that. Was that that muggle saying? "Time heals everything"? Personally, Remus thought they were full of it. Time doesn't truly heal anything. In fact, Remus thought that Time made things worse. Because, as Time went on, you kept thinking about things that had happened… Time didn't heal anything…

Eventually, Remus received a letter from Dumbledore.

_Dear Remus,_

_How are you? It's been a while, I know. Things are going pretty well for me here, as well. Hogwarts is doing fine. Mostly… Let's get to the point of this letter…_

_I'm having some problems in filling the Defense Against the Dark Arts position here at Hogwarts. Some people say it's cursed…At the moment, I can't think of anyone that can take it… except for you. Remus, now, I know that you would have reservations about taking it, but… if you would… I would love for you to come at teach here. I cannot think of a more qualified applicant._

_I assure you, Remus, that the proper… precautions… will be taken. I know that you do not wish to hurt anybody, and believe me, I have already thought of everything…_

_So, if you would please give a reply as soon as possible, whether you accept this position or not, I would be most appreciative. I do want to, however, remind you that I cannot think of a more qualified applicant for this position, werewolf or not._

_I wait eagerly for your reply._

_Sincerely,_

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore_

At first, Remus didn't know what to think. His first thought was, of course, that he couldn't possibly take the job, no matter what Dumbledore said, but then… Dumbledore had said that he had taken the proper precautions…

Remus debated over it for a while, then finally decided on his course of action, and wrote Dumbledore back.

_Dear Headmaster,_

_I'm as well as can be expected. I'm glad that you are doing all right, and that everything at Hogwarts fine. I am sorry, as well, to hear about your "curse" upon the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. I do, however, have reserves in accepting your gracious offer to teach it. I trust you, and I also trust it when you say that you have taken the "proper precautions" but I am still hesitant…_

_I have thought about this for a while, Dumbledore… I have finally decided on a course of action after thinking about your letter._

_I do trust you when you say that you have taken the proper precautions, so I'm sure you will be delighted to hear that I am accepting your position._

_I wait anxiously for your reply, Dumbledore, and can't wait to be at Hogwarts once again. This time as a teacher…_

_Your former student,_

_Remus Lupin_

Dumbledore's reply was enthusiastic. He was excited to have Remus teaching, and glad that he had a competent teacher. Remus wasn't quite sure what he meant, but shrugged it off. Dumbledore gave him instructions, and Remus followed them, getting a ticket to the train to Hogwarts, due to the fact that the full moon was a few days before.

Remus slept the way there, waking up when a Dementors stormed into the compartment that he had been in, which Ron Weasley, Hermoine Granger, and Harry Potter had been in.

Overall, the trip there had not been very bad… Remus did not expect the Dementor, however… Many things were changing since Sirius escaped… Remus found himself thinking about him more and more, no matter how hard he tried not to… Remus, however, went to school, not expecting the he events that would follow.

A/n: Hope you enjoyed. Only 1 more chapter. R/R!


	9. Akzaban

A/n: sniff I can't believe that this story is finally over! It's sad to think that I'm ending a story that I've been writing for 3 years. I hope you've enjoyed it! Due to some rumors that does not allow author's to respond to reviews, I am going to slowly take them off. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this story, and thanks to everyone that has ever reviewed, and everyone that ever will! And here is the final chapter of "Sirius and Remus – The Death of Lily and James/Azkaban".

**Chapter 9**

Sirius' eyes fluttered open in his dark, dank cell in Azkaban. It had been miserable for him. He was reliving all of his worst memories over and over and over again. He felt at this point that it was better to die, then he wouldn't have to keep seeing the things that he was forced to be seeing. But, there were a couple bright lights in his dark world… The first was the fact that Sirius was sure he was innocent.

Peter, that rat, had betrayed Lily and James. He had called himself our friend! James, Lily – dead. Harry – orphaned. And all of it was Peter's fault.

No, that was wrong, though, wasn't it? It was Sirius', his own fault. It had been his idea to switch secret keepers. If he hadn't brought it, Sirius himself would be dead now, but James and Lily would still be alive, and Harry would still have his parents, and not be forced to live with those horrid relatives of his. Remus – that was the second one, but it also brought a pang of sadness.

Remus would now believe that he was a traitor, and that everything they had was a lie. He understood. He probably would have felt the same way. In fact, Sirius knew that he would have. But that didn't make it any easier. He missed him something terrible, and didn't think that he would ever see him again, but oh, if he could, he could think of a thousand things he would like to do to him. He would –

Sirius was brought back to reality as another painful memory assaulted him. Sirius now knew why no one had ever wanted to come here. This place was horrible, and reeked of death, and pain. Prisoners screamed and screamed. Some, after a while, stopped screaming, when they figured out that no one around them could hear them, or cared. Others, were unable to scream.

_I can't do this, _Sirius thought. _I'm not this strong. How can I survive this? _A tear slid down Sirius' cheek. _I'm going to die here. I know that. I won't be able to survive this for very long._ It was a while before Sirius figured that in his Animagus form the Dementors affected him less. It made it more bearable.

_I'm innocent. _Sirius would repeat over and over to himself. _I'm innocent. I'm innocent. It was Peter – he was the Death Eater, he betrayed Lily and James, not I, I – would never do that. Never. _Sirius repeated that to himself to keep himself sane. If he didn't… he would most likely have gone mad.

_It was that rat. _He thought angrily to himself. _I swear on my life, and whatever honor I have in me, whatever my pureblood lineage is worth that if I ever get out of here, I will make him pay._

_He will pay for what he's done to me, and to Harry, and to Lily and James._

_I will kill him. If the last thing I do, I'll kill him._

_I will kill him._

Sirius repeated those thoughts over and over and over again. Whether it ended up driving him mad or not is up to you, but he did promise himself that if he ever somehow got out of Azkaban, he would kill Peter.

He wish began to come true when some Ministry officials were making their rounds of Azkaban. Sirius stood up as Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Fudge, walked by his cell.

"Excuse me, Minister?" Sirius asked, keeping his voice calm and even. "I was wondering if I could have that newspaper that you have there, sir?" Sirius had always prized himself on being a very good talker.

The Minister looked at him. It seemed as if he was almost shocked that Sirius could speak coherently after being in Azkaban for 12 years. "Sure," he said, "I suppose. I've no use for it. Here." He held the paper out between the bars for Sirius to grab. He was shaking a little, but Sirius hardly noticed. It was to be expected, of course. He was a convicted criminal after all.

Sirius grabbed the newspaper. "Thank you, Minister. I appreciate it." Sirius the disappeared from view of the Minister as he went and sat down in the corner of his cell.

The Minister started the bars for a moment, as if almost expecting Sirius Black to jump and somehow kill him. He shook it off. There were Dementors all around. Black couldn't get out. No one had. No one could.

However, that was a lie. At least it was when it came to Sirius Black.

After 12 years of little nourishment, Sirius had become very, very thin. At the point that he escaped – after he had received the newspaper from the Minister – he was so thin as a dog that he could slip through the bars. When Sirius figured this out, he carefully did so, and swam back to shore, with one thing on his mind – the thing that had been on his mind for weeks now: Kill Peter Pettigrew... the man that had dared to call himself a Marauder.


End file.
